Growing up

 WRITING PROMPT # 32: Growing Up 

Several years ago we were visiting family in Alabama. They lived in a rural area so it was quite a drive to get anywhere.  One day, my sister-in-law, her tween girls and I piled into their minivan for the distant trip to the grocery store. Those two girls chattered nonstop, the whole drive, about friend gossip they saw on Facebook so by the time we arrived it felt like my melted brain would just drip right out of my ears. It was so boring and trivial. While they walked ahead of us, I grabbed my saintly sister-in-law and asked, "how do you stand that?" 

In another one of those life-changing moments, she stopped in her tracks, looked at me with conviction, and said, "I love it when they talk to me like that. If they feel I'm listening to the mundane stuff, I hope they will trust me to listen to the big stuff."    

I have lived by that conviction ever since. I have sat through some pretty boring and trivial conversations, but I always make eye contact (unless I'm driving). I always try to ask follow-up questions so they know I'm listening. It's not always easy. 

The other day, my youngest son sat on the bed and asked if he could talk about his newest video game obsession. I said, "of course." He looked at me and said, "Mom, you're the only one I can talk to. No one else wants to listen." (His siblings aren't very patient with his video game excitement.) Then he snuggled up to me and told me all about this weird creature in the game. And the research he has done about the game. And the YouTube videos he watched about the game. 

Right now, they're telling me about sea monsters, entertainment, the little dramas in elementary school, and new crushes, but I hope all this ground work is building a safe space for the big stuff.