WRITING PROMPT: Marriage (again)
Yesterday, I blogged about mine and the hubs' competitive streak. The whole thing was sparked by a book quote, but my original idea for the "marriage" prompt was this.
Barry and I have always gotten along really well. I am so grateful for that. But when we were newlyweds, I was really struggling. I just didn't feel loved and I had no idea why. We weren't fighting, there weren't any issues that I could pinpoint, but I couldn't get over feeling sad about it.
Until I picked up the book that had been gifted to us, The Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman. Talk about a game-changer! As I read the book, I found so much insight into my own self that I didn't even know!
If you haven't heard of the concept, Dr. Chapman argues there are five different ways that everyone feels loved.
1) Words of Affirmation
2) Quality Time
3) Physical Touch
4) Acts of Service
5) Receiving Gifts
I realized that the principal way my husband shows love is through acts of service. To this day, the guy is amazing at serving our family. But, that is not at all how I feel loved. My primary love language is words of affirmation. I appreciate all the things my husband does, but it doesn't hit home the same way an affirming statement does for me. The way I always illustrate it is: It would mean more to me if my husband told me he appreciated my doing the dishes than if he actually did them himself. Way more!
My second main love language is quality time, but the strongest and fastest way to my heart is those darned words of affirmation. Once I understood this about myself, I was able to discuss what my needs were with my husband and found out I wasn't making him feel loved either! Even though I thought I was rocking it!
Fast forward, sixteen years later and words are still not always my handsome guy's best skill. I'm still not always the best at showing love to him in his language. But we work on it. All the time.
Thank goodness we are friends because marriage is always a work in progress.
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